17 Days In Incubator Longest Time Premature Baby Will Go Without Being Exposed To Advertising

submitted by seahorse [Ohio]

www.theonion.com/17-days-in-incubator-longest-t…

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15 Comments

fckreddit

This one is a certified banger. I am really jealous of the baby.

ID411

Capitalists sleeping on this gold mine. !

SuckMyWang

It’s to help pay for the expensive treatment. There’s a lot of risk that the baby won’t make it so the advertisers need to make sure they can recoup their losses on the ones that become financially viable.

Good_morning

Right, they could at least include a banner ad

TacticsConsort

SATIRE! ONION NO IT'S MEANT TO BE *SATIRE!*

RizzRustbolt

What is satire, if not the truth turned up to 11?

Fixbeat

How can we shape its young minds without the ads? Maybe a little tv would save this baby.

mydoomlessaccount

Every ad I had to close out of while trying to read this only drove the point home further..

irreticent

uBlock Origin. It will change the way you look at the internet.

TropicalDingdong

"This incubator mattress pad is brought to you by Casper mattresses. Casper mattresses was one of the earliest direct-to-consumer mattresses on YouTube. They disrupted the traditional mattress purchasing process by offering online selling. They sell just one model, which means there’s no decision paralysis while shopping. With a 100-day return policy, a compact package, and no need to go to a showroom, there is plenty of incentive to try them out."

SubArcticTundra

We make choosing a mattress so easi it'll make you fall asleep!

ChillPenguin , edited

At press time, reports confirmed the baby’s 17 days of serenity had been cut short after the walls and roof of her incubator had been sold as ad space.

Honestly, the onion is just too good. Pure gold.

xantoxis

It's not even true. If there's a medical product in eyeshot, they'll be seeing its logos

Raiderkev

Babies can't see for shit when they're just born. Maybe the pampers logo in their diaper, but even that's a stretch.

NounsAndWords

They offer all sorts of formula samples at the hospital, so I think even that is a stretch...