Look at that pattern. no wonder he was strangled!

I know that when I strangle people with my very identifiable necktie, I always leave it at the scene for investigators to find.

Mr Taylor: "He was strangled with this tie*?"
Narrator: "Well no, he died of accidental strangulation by a strand of christmas lights when he was installing them on his house last year, tragic really, but he *was strangled*!"
Mr Taylor: "I mean, the way you said it suggested he was strangled by the tie--"
Narrator: "I KNOW, it makes it more dramatic. Just put on the damn tie. After that you must don these shoes of a man that drowned by having his feet held underwater until he was dead!"
Mr Taylor: "...but he wasn't wearing *these shoes was he? Nor was he murdered, I'd guess. Let me guess, recreational cliffdiving and got his feet stuck in the mud underwater?"
Narrator: "just put on the shoes, please."

"Arrest the tie, then!"

(With apologies to Tom Baker.)