Turkey Temptation

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submitted a week ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz

Turkey Temptation
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33 Comments

TIL

People, man. Park rangers are the nation’s cat herders. The amount of stupidity they intercept, well, I’m glad I don’t have to do it, and I’m more than happy to see my tax dollars fund their health care.

Insofar as that still happens going forward. We may not have national parks in 4 yrs.

Oh we'll still have national parks. They'll just have oil and/or fracking rigs on them.

Barrow Island, off the coast of Australia, is a class A nature reserve housing a couple dozen unique indigenous species, beaches where turtles lay their eggs each year, and 900 oil wells and a natural gas plant owned by Chevron.

Come and visit the stunning Yellowstone oil pumps

I had never thought about doing this until now, and now it's all that I can think about.

I have three questions.

Does this actually work to coock it?

Is it at all edible?

Is there any environmental impact or downside?

Does this actually work to coock it?

Doesn't seem safe to try to get your cock in it while it's in the hot spring. Maybe you could find a way to make it could actually work...but why? Are you a masochist or something?

Is it at all edible?

Sous vide method would probably have the most chance Of being edible since the turkey would be vacuum sealed

Is there any environmental impact or downside?

Yes. That's why the park service is saying not to do this. You'd be introducing new chemicals into a delicate ecosystem and also potentially physically damaging it.

I'm a homebrewer, so I have a boiler large enough to sous vide a turkey (or a lamb), but I do wonder where one would find a large enough bag, I think you'd have to weld several bags together

It would cook it, the springs are hot and acidic enough. You’d just have to sit for a long while. Edibility depends on your allergies and tolerance for poisons.

You can eat anything you want once

Would depend on the specific hot spring. Most would cook and dissolve it. Additionally it would be very Sulphur smelling and tasting which would be range from icky to deadly depending on how much of the undissolved you ate.

The places I know were they do cook stuff using volcanic heat (in Peru and the Azores islands which are part of Portugal) they do it by digging a hole in an area were the ground is hot from volcanic heat and putting a pan cooking in it (they cover it all to keep the heat).

So it's more a local technique for cooking for free that then evolved into a couple of traditional dishes.

Never heard of trying to roast stuff on the output of a geyser.

It's a thing in New Zealand, where they actually cook in the geothermal springs, done traditionally by Maori in the area that has geothermal activity(they also dig a hole sometimes, not sure if that depends on the tribe or just what they're cooking). Apparently there's a restaurant that does it too: https://whakarewarewa.com/experiences-traditional-food/

I haven't tried it so can't speak to the flavor, but Id imagine it would be somewhat sulphour flavoured, which doesn't seem appealing, maybe it's an acquired taste?

I know turkey is kinda bland and gamey, but turkey that tastes like it was marinated in cigarette butts and used matchsticks somehow sounds like it'd be worse

Don't forget the dissolved remains of humans who fell into those pools!

I've never heard of turkey described as gamey, and I'm genuinely confused as to why you think it is

I’ve always thought it tasted like chicken gone a bit off. I love chicken though so maybe the deviation from that is what I’m objecting to, hard to say.

Maybe it is gamey. I’ve not eaten wild fowl so I have nothing to compare it too.

Depends a lot on the turkey I suppose. Some store-bought 'basted' thing is essentially soaked in brine and 'natural flavor' and butter, and a wild turkey is quite a bit drier and tougher and has a kind of rough taste to it from whatever it eats

Here's one more cool turkey tidbit, since we have them all over in my neighborhood. They really do fly up into trees to roost! They're super loud and clumsy, and spend more time aiming than anything. They'll eyeball the next branch, take a couple steps back, then make a huge racket and the whole tree shakes when they land. They fool no one lol

Well, I wasn't going to do it, but then you said I couldn't.

But cooking a ham is still okay?

Is this a thing? Like.... enough that they need to have warnings about it, Lego themed or otherwise?

Does it matter? It’s fun. And park rangers are good people, keeping humanity from ruining nice things on the daily.

You wildly misunderstood my comment. I'm asking if this is actually a thing people have done which requires warnings from them. The Lego part is not the main thing. Like do they also have to post signs, etc warning people not to do this?

That is what I meant, I’m largely ignoring the legos.

In a forced choice scenario I’d guess no, it just sounds too gross and too likely to disintegrate the bird off the line.

Why they putting ideas in people's heads?

Not to mention your turkey will probably fucking dissolve

My turkey carpaccio is ok then.

Well I'm also one of the people who'd never thought of such a thing until they brought it up. Shame our local springs aren't nearly hot enough for that kind of nonsense.

All I read was "natural hangi pit"

We have those all around where I live.