What's the strangest job title you've ever heard?

submitted by DandomRude

For me, a random sales guy took the cake when he introduced himself as "Chief Innovation Evangelist".

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65 Comments

vivavideri

I was a noodle ambassador, once upon a time.

over_clox

All in a day's work for a dedicated servant of the Flying Spaghetti Monster 🍜

meco03211

R'Amen!

HootinNHollerin , edited

I laughed out loud when I saw someone I know on LinkedIn convert from real estate agent to ‘prompt engineer’

AFK BRB Chocolate

That one bugs me. Should require an engineering degree.

Baahb

Language creep. I imagine it gets worse as we age...

-Senior Application Engineer

WindyRebel

Worked in printing before things were phased to computers and had to shoot/cut out negatives on a light table for the press plates. It was called “stripping”. So, I was a stripper once without taking off any clothes.

Pharmacists are drug dealers. At least I call them that. 😁

I really want the job of "head receiver," like Jerry here.

lars

🔰Hurling⚜️Durling🔱

That is both awesome and scary at the same time

tal , edited

If I remember reading some old Mac magazine correctly, Guy Kawasaki's official job title at Apple was "Intergalactic Evangelist".

mozz

Futurologist

snooggums

I know that is used for someone who generally has a good enough grasp on science and technology to make rough approximations of what *could* happen as those fields progress, but it sounds like a fancy term for a psychic.

thesporkeffect

I'm switching my LinkedIn title to Futuronomist to avoid this kind of mixup

trolololol

Don't worry, everyone that's supposed to get a good grasp at Tech and science gets as wrong as everyone else.

Fusion power plants are a decade away. As well as quantum computers for practical applications, and general artificial intelligence. Everything that is more than ten year gets compressed into "next decade'.

Call me Lenny/Leni

If you think that's strange, wait until you see the Scientologists.

Zos_Kia

I worked with a guy who was Happiness Officer and all my friends found it hilarious. He was pretty good at keeping the team happy though so I didn't give him too much shit about it.

nandeEbisu

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

Zos_Kia

Actually i've had the rare privilege of working in companies that really valued their employee's wellbeing. At least for some time. It was a combination of inexperienced founders, really convinced managers, and super enthusiastic investors who didn't really know how to crack the market so they kind of gave us all freedom to do as we pleased. This was all pre-COVID of course but it was a blast to waste millionaire money for a few years.

NegativeNull

I have a friend who works in GIS and had a title of "Maker of Maps"

GluWu

A cartographer?

GluWu

I know what GIS is, if he only does GIS and no other programming or engineering isn't he a cartographer?

NegativeNull

Sorry, I thought the question was what GIS was.

They were a programmer and DBA

Call me Lenny/Leni

Hopefully the good kind.

BitSound

"Thinker" is probably the most obnoxious one I've heard of, from the CTO of a tech company

calabast

I feel like besides being a silly title, I feel like it would rub me the wrong way if I worked at that company with any other title.

Because of the implication.

jubilationtcornpone

An ideas guy with all kinds of ideas.

...most of which are complete shit.

enbyecho

Maybe this doesn't count but... I once had a manager who had "Master of All He Surveys" on his business card.

We didn't get a long too well.

Call me Lenny/Leni

What is he secretly Lord Zedd or something?

HootinNHollerin , edited

I was being recruited to design and develop a machine that sorted bull semen into male and female and I half jokingly said I’d consider it if i could have the title of Sr Semen Sorter and manager said ok. COVID stopped the project though

Bgugi

At first I was like "good luck finding that female semen..." Then I realized I'm just dumb.

papalonian

Yeah I'm still not getting it lol

Glytch

In case you seriously aren't getting it, it would sort sperm based on whether it had an "x" or a "y" chromosome

papalonian

Shit ok that's what I thought but I misremembered some biology and told myself that's not how it works lmao.

bighatchester

Thanks for explaining it . I really didn't get it lol .

CosmicTurtle0

You can separate bull semen? I don't want to Google this. How is this done?

lars

No need to Google

You can separate bull semen

by just using your mouth. Hope this helps!

bradorsomething

At least you weren’t the Head Semen Collector

neidu2 , edited

Chief Trainee.

Context: The hierarchy at this job I once had (and still kind of have) went like this:
First, the four departments:
Technician, Navigator, Mechanic, Processor.

The structure: Trainee tech/nav/mech/proc -> tech/nav/mech/proc ->
Shift Leader tech/nav/mech/proc ->
Chief tech/nav/mech/proc ->
Party Chief

This one guy we hired was good at what he did, and he had years of experience from a different company. He was hired with the understanding that he'd take on the chief role after some time.

However, HR stupidity dictated that a certain duration with the company was required for various levels, so he had to start as a trainee. And pay was also linked to this, and he was supposed to be paid as a chief.

So I as a shift lead at that time had him working under me as Chief Trainee so he could learn our methods and systems before he got into the role as my Chief.

shalafi

Nobody gonna bring up "fluffer"?

Volkditty

I was looking for a new job recently and found a listing for Part-time Manhole Cover Inspector. Was tempted to apply, but I was not qualified.

My younger brother had a summer job in high school as a worm farmer.

lyth

A good line from a video about a cancelled game jam documentary: "Matti was hired as a Pepsi Consultant, a job title less dignified than Human Trafficker"

fritata_fritato

I saw a job at an abbatior for a "first boner". I knew what they meant and it was still funny.

funkless_eck

I've taught Sex Ed in high school

I've been a topless waiter (I'm a dude, sorry)

And a stilt walker, and magician, and balloon twister

And I was paid to stilt walk in a library singing The One Pound Fish song as part of an art installation

Does that count?

Resol van Lemmy

I'm a Eurovision fan (spoiler alert: the 2024 edition was dogshit). Hmm... I'm calling myself something else now.

A Eurovisionary.

Mango

I was once a flamer.

Ephera

A former colleague had the title "Project Professional".

As you can tell, he was good at doing projects, just not at doing anything *in* those projects.

ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕠

The weirdest I've ever had was "Keyholder".

My ex briefly had the title of "Bioethicist".

Mango

I AM THE GATEKEEPER!

AFK BRB Chocolate

That one is good and much needed.

DominusOfMegadeus

One of the dispensaries near me has weed consultants called "Rangers."

Call me Lenny/Leni

So that's why they call it the Mighty Morphine Power Rangers.

morphballganon

Pornography Historian

krowbear

My aunt used to work as a "cheese stirrer"

SatansMaggotyCumFart

Erection engineer.

Hadriscus

My ancestor (born circa 1720) was a matchstick saleswoman. Her name was Gillette, same as the razor brand. I try to live up to her legacy

HobbitFoot

In some industries, the safety officer in charge is usually called the "competent person".

MIDItheKID

Not me but a buddy of mine was a "Cheese Monger". I always found that one pretty funny.

Also when I was in high school, I was going through a book of prefessions in "Careers" class and I found "Chick Sexer". Heh... Heheh... Chick Sexer.

RamblingPanda

In my first company an intern that updated our webpage from time to time was our Internet Content Manager.

Call me Lenny/Leni

"Photographer nose itcher" is one that comes to mind.

It's not that the rationale doesn't make sense (imagine trying to concentrate a camera and suddenly being itchy and wishing you had someone scratch you so you don't have to unconcentrate your camera so you can free a hand in order to itch the itchy part), but imagine a second person following you around for that purpose in particular, like a photographer's equivalent to the Piss Boy.

trolololol

Ha

Sounds like piano player assistant, aka page turner

Factualfiction

Sandwich artist at Subway

Dr. Wesker

Chief Keef.

BonesOfTheMoon

Customer experience architect. The person with that job is an insufferable asshole.