Recognizing when you're living in your best years

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submitted by The Picard Maneuver

Recognizing when you're living in your best years

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75 Comments

Dagwood222

A lot of people have overlooked great things because they were waiting for something better to come along.

Dasus

How dare you know my life better than I

Dagwood222

I dare all!

BeatTakeshi

Hi Daryl

Dagwood222

That's a terrible 'dad joke.' Surely you can't be serious.

I Cast Fist

I'm not serious, I eat cereals

BeatTakeshi , edited

Terrible means great in the land of the dad.

Edit: and don't call me Shirley how did I miss the reference 🤦‍♂️

ShaggySnacks

I am serious and don't call me Shirely.

mad_asshatter , edited

Some of my (our) favourite moments are the times we're the most lost.

Unplanned.

thisbenzingring

My ancestors had a phrase that has become the popularized saying "today is a good day to die"

Hokahey

Crazyhorse being the badass he was, would yell it when charging into battle.

It's not really meant as "time to die" but more of I am ready! I am brave. I am strong. I love my family and they love me. If today is the day, so be it. I am ready for judgement!

This dad is practicing what it means.

The Picard Maneuver [OP]

That's awesome. Sounds like your lineage is Klingon.

thisbenzingring

The Lakota were the badasses that forced the US Army to surrender. The Dakota areas would be a much different place if they had the numbers to stop people from using the Oregon Trail.

So the Klingons using that phrase has always been a lovely thing

KnightontheSun

if they had the numbers to stop people from using the Oregon Trail.

They should've tried more dysentery. Worked on me.

cybersandwich

Also, small rivers that need fording.

fpslem

Well done, OP, for realizing it in the moment!

Dagwood222

It's actually pretty easy. Look around you and be grateful for what you have and stop thinking about all the things you don't have.

If you're waking up on a rainy Monday and not hating your life, you're doing pretty well.

SparrowRanjitScaur

I love rainy Mondays

AA5B

How about waking up early on a rainy Monday for a conference call? But then the whole week is rescued by the coworker in India talk about the heat and lack of rain, and how late it is after the end of their workday

suction

That’s what I do, look out the window through the rain to watch my brand new Brabus G-Wagon

Dagwood222

And if you work hard, someday you'll be able to afford a really nice car.

suction

Let me guess, you’re thinking about a big bad truck.

Dagwood222

wooosh

Seraph , edited

The only time that exists is the present. Enjoy it!

Don't live in the past or the future, they existed and they will exist, but they don't exist. Only the present does.

hoherd

This kind of thing is seriously the best that life gets. Being able to recognize those moments and appreciate them is one of the best skills somebody can obtain. Mindfulness meditation and stoic philosophy have helped me immensely in being able to appreciate these types of situations for the real value that they have.

The Picard Maneuver [OP]

As a father of a toddler, I try to appreciate every day and not take these types of moments for granted.

I'm very mindful of the fact that this time I'm living in *right now* is the period of my life that I'll revisit in my memories on repeat when I'm an old man.

grrgyle

What wise réalisation, wow... I hope it bears much nostalgic fruit for you to enjoy in your golden years.

I've been eating my past a bit too much lately. Got to remember to do like you, and make something for the future to eat too

GloriousGouda

My youngest and I have been on our own since she was 8 months old. She's now 11. She has two older siblings and 4 nieces and nephews. She went to spend last summer with her sister and family and asked to stay through the next summer. That was July 16th 2023. Hardest decision I've made yet. But I couldn't find a reason to say no that wasn't selfish or self serving. She needed this time. Her mother hasn't been in her life and her 27 year old sister is the "mother figure" she clung to.

She will be home in a few weeks.

It's the moments like these I miss the most. Watching them in real-time discover themselves.

Anyway, y'all just take every fucking chance you get to sit still in moments like these. Enjoy them.

JustZ

This hit hard.

StaySquared

Anyway, y’all just take every fucking chance you get to sit still in moments like these. Enjoy them

Hear hear!

mihnt

It's choir and a local sub shop for my me and my daughter.

Also, our constant argument about who is better, Alastor or Vox.

mad_asshatter

Whoever she says is better, is better.

Trust me on this one, the ROI is unmatched.

mihnt

Too late. T-shirts already ordered.

mad_asshatter

When will it fit her?

AA5B

My little one and I had a secret thrill together. He had a very early commitment on Saturday, so we’d go to Friendlys after. It was still pretty early so families would be there eating breakfast, while we were “those” people with an ice cream Sundae. All those kids would be so jealous thinking my little one got to have ice cream for breakfast, and I always got glares from exasperated parents. Little did they know we’d been up for hours, already had a good breakfast while it was still dark, and had already spent more time doing stuff together than many of them would the entire rest of the day

StaySquared

Yooo... ever since having my first child, my daughter, it feels like time is fkin flying. Every single day at work I'm thinking to myself.. I want to be home with my family, I need to find a way out of wage slavery.

Digestive_Biscuit

After my son was born I would get up in the morning, usually before he and wife were awake, go to work. When I got home from work I would be lucky to see him for an hour before my wife put him to bed. Hardly ever saw him.

Then the pandemic happened, he just turned two at the time. I was then told to work from home. It was brilliant. I got to spend so much time with my son. I still work from home now but he's at school these days.

The pandemic was not kind to a lot of people but for me personally I have great memories because of it.

StaySquared

Damn, this is about the same scenario with me. But after being laid off in my last role, which was remote, I got stuck into a role where I have to be on-site. I'm still applying to remote roles, I can't settle for on-site work especially when 90% of my work can all be done through PC/Internet access.

JustZ , edited

Similar for me. I got let go from a good job right before the pandemic. Got some unemployment, then it kept getting extended because of the pandemic.

Got to spend everyday with my boy, and used the time to start my own business and things have never been better. It starts ripping by fast, though.

I always think, there was a time when my dad lifted me up and neither of us knew it was for the last time.

Sometimes I don't want to do kid stuff, don't have the energy or whatever. I try to picture myself 80 years old, gone back in time for one day with my young family, always give me the energy to keep it up.

Digestive_Biscuit

Yeah that's exactly it. Sometimes I don't want to do family stuff. My wife plans things like going to the beach which I really don't like but I keep thinking about the memories both me and my son will get. My dad hardly did anything with me, I want to make sure I'm giving my son good memories.

Psythik

As a childless Millennial, nothing sounds weirder to me than to hear someone speak like a Zoomer and mention having a child in the same sentence. In my eyes, y'all are still teenagers.

StaySquared

I'm a millennial.. and I'm still young in *mind*. Adulting is hard.

Zorg

Adulting is hard 😑 didn't exactly help I emigrated to my spouse's home country, we had our child, I (finally) got my career properly going, and we bought a house, all in a span of two years. But, even without all that, adulting would be a lot. Up until I started actually feeling like an adult, I wanna say somewhere in my 30s, it usually seemed like adults had their shit together. Either life used to be somewhat easier, or part of adulting is getting really good at pretending you have your shit together...

dependencyinjection

I spent my childhood sitting in the back of a car whilst my mum and her best mate would moan about men every night, or following them around to see if they were in the pub getting pissed so she could go and throw drinks at him.

One day we came home as we were being burgled, probably my people my step dad knew.

I would have taken ballet and ice cream, even as a dude.

skyspydude1

My mom and I don't have a lot in common, and I think part of it is she sometimes worries she didn't spend enough time with me as a kid because she worked so much. Her taking me to music lessons and then hot cocoa afterwards are some of my coziest memories with her.

Hossenfeffer

Every Wednesday I take my daughter to scouts. After scouts we take an unnecessarily long way home, playing music we like at each other and chatting. It's a highlight of my week too.

Flying Squid

Not long enough.

Sigh.

Rhynoplaz

I miss those days.

But children must become teenagers.

Nasty, ignorant, disrespectful teenagers.

Otherwise, we'd never let them leave and become adults.

AA5B

Fun to joke about but activities with my teens are still my highlights. They don’t have to be the stereotype.

The real problem is their increasing absences, their approaching independence. It’s really frustrating fostering their independence, pulling back from taking care of them, dreading their impending “graduation” into adulthood.

On the other hand at my performance review, my manager spent most of the time encouraging to get back into dating now that kids are gradually leaving, trying to give me tips and encouragement, so I got that going for me

Rhynoplaz

You're right.

I've got a pretty wide spread on my kids (step & bio). One in college, 3 teens and a ten year old.

Every phase has its ups and downs. Some days I wish the teenagers wanted to involve us more, and other days I wish the ten year old would just give me some space! 😂

I want this but I can't even take care of myself, let alone another human. :(

NegativeInf

I believe in you. :)

minibyte

I’m with it. I’ve been living the same day for over 10 years. It’s groundhogs day.

JustZ , edited

Progress, not perfection.

I bet if you make a list of positive things about yourself, and undoubtedly there are many of them, fears you have overcome, goals you've reached, things you can be proud of that come naturally to you. Reach back to your childhood, perhaps, to your natural state, before the world ground you down.

Read the list to yourself two or three times every day. I promise you, it will light a spark of positivity that will burn for hours afterward. You'll feel your mind resolving thoughts more positively. Negative thinking will become less instinctive. Intrusive thoughts will fade.

For me the hardest part was shaking this idea my parents had engrained in me, that the consequence of hard work is being tired and even complaining. That's not true. The consequence of hard work is momentum. Hard work gets easier the more you do it.

You can either suffer the discomfort of hard work or the discomfort of regret, so it's worth it to make friends with doing things you don't want to do, because as far as I can tell it never stops.

DjMeas

I have a 4 year old son and I absolutely love taking him to have some ice cream (he loves Yogurtland). The excitement and smile on his face when he gets a treat he likes is the thing I will think about most when I'm on my death bed. It wasn't the new car or the promotion that will cross my mind, it will be about spending time with him and doing things which make him the most happy.

CannedCairn

Those nights are definitely a good thing!

frustrated_phagocytosis

He doesn't talk back to her? That's awkward. "Remember when dad would take me for ice cream and not say anything to me while he messes with the radio?"

unexposedhazard , edited

I dont know what age the kid is, but i know lots of kids that just love talking like a never ending waterfall. Shes probably telling him every single detail of what happened during ballet class like it is a shakespeare play. And if you love your kids then you wanna hear that.

KoboldCoterie

Almost definitely this. "...and I went over to the teacher and asked if we could dance to Let It Snow, but Becky said she didn't like that song, so but then Jenny came over and said she did, so the teacher asked everyone who liked it to raise their hands and almost everyone did so she put it on and we got to dance to it! Oh, and then, Becky even got excited about it part way through and I think she likes it now, too, so the teacher said we can listen to it again next week! But Tanya's mom came to pick her up early because she had to go to the dentist, so she missed the best part, and then..."

unexposedhazard

This is exactly what i had in mind. Thank you for adding to my comment :)

Dr. Wesker , edited

Little girls often like to talk. A lot. Kids in general at specific ages have a lot to say. Listening skills as an adult in this situation are important. You want them to feel comfortable just jabbering at you.

notabot

It's not just kids, most adults would talk this much too, and probably feel a lot better for it, if they hadn't had it knocked out of them and had someone they trust to talk to.

frustrated_phagocytosis

Aren't you supposed to be modeling conversational conventions so they don't annoy other people with incessant chatter? Some people never seem to be quiet ever and probably needed to learn to let other people be involved in their one-sided monologues.

devnull406

No, you demonstrate love and unconditional acceptance and support. Today they're babbling on about something that happened at ballet, tomorrow they trust you enough to talk about their relationships and teachers and the bully at school.

Kids have enough time in their day to learn social convention - they also just need a safe environment to unpack everything with their parents.

Xanthrax , edited

Having an engineer for a father, yes, I remember. It always ended with "Car Talk." /s

"DON'T DRIVE LIKE MY BROTHA"

Kids are honestly a vomitorium, though. They want to be listened to. IMO, the time for your input is when they ask for it, which is still often. The generational gap makes things just as awkward as not speaking.

Edit: This comment chain got really toxic for some reason

Dasus

Kids are an entrance or exit passage in an ancient Roman amphitheatre or theatre?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vomitorium

Xanthrax , edited

Metaphorically, yes. They let a lot of things out. That's why it's called that. It means ""to spew forth. " (that's in your link)

People used to think it was a place where people vomited.

Dasus

It means ""to spew forth. "

Aactually, it doesn't, but good of you to actually open the link and have a butcher's. "*Vomere*" means "to spew forth". "Vomitorium" is "vomere" + -"orium", meaning "place of."

MeThisGuy

yes, they go in and come out of the same place

Dasus , edited

But if *they* *are the passage, then *you'd* be entering and exiting children, and that just sounds... wrong.*

SorryQuick

I hate to be that guy but who lets their kid (or even adults) eat ice cream in the car? This is a recipe for disaster.