PieFedCurious about motivation
This post is an explanation of how my personal motivation works, and I am curious how others here relate to it, and if it is a common thing with ADHD.
For starters, I have inattentive-type ADHD, have been diagnosed and on various medications for ~5 years, and am roughly college age for context. I am very highly motivated by other people, basically anything where people are depending on my for something, or will directly help/harm someone depending on my actions. Of course I still have executive dysfunction struggles regardless, but that external motivation helps immensely.
In school this manifested as struggling a lot with homework (often not doing it), but doing very well in-class and with group projects. In my limited work and internship experiences, somewhat predicably, I have done very well as directly working hands-on with coworkers highly motivates me. Unfortunately, personal life progression things like actually getting a job and finding and applying for further education is the exact opposite, and is a struggle. There are of course plenty more examples, but I think that gives the gist of my experience.
[Cross posted from !adhd@lemmy.dbzer0.com cuz I forgor that was mainly a memes community]
Here's a fantastic secret: eventually you can.
Telling yourself that you are a people too might help (it did not me) but also, you cannot help others until you take care of yourself first. It's worth exploring that thought further as to *why* you behave that way - especially since there could be several potential reasons, as everyone is not the same cookie cutter personality. It's okay to be different - it's far less than okay to not be able to get stuff done in a world that demands it.
Standard disclaimer I'm no psychologist, so what do I know, really? I just wanted to encourage you that it can be different than it is now.
That is a good point. I have a lot of guilt about not "pulling my weight" as far as helping others because I'm too busy trying to fix myself. Maybe if I confront that guilt more instead of trying not to think about it, I can derive some motivation from it.
I also do have hope that I can get better. Despite being perpetually frustrated with my progress even I have to admit I've improved over the years, which suggests I'll continue to improve.
You make a good point about exploring why I mistreat myself so I'm adding a reminder to discuss that with my therapist this week.
Thanks internet stranger :)
We don't all travel at the same speed, bc we don't all carry the same baggage. I hope that you will discover how best to be truly kind to yourself.