I AM THE CHURCH

Explanation: In the 16th century AD, England’s king, Henry VIII, wanted to get rid of his wife, Catherine of Aragon, so he could remarry and (hopefully) produce a male heir, because the past is super shitty like that. Catherine of Aragon was related to the King of Spain, however, who had significant leverage over the Catholic Church at the time - so when Henry VIII asked the Pope for an annulment, he was refused.

… Henry VIII then proceeded to form his own church, divorce Catherine, and remarry 5 times. "Divorced, beheaded, and died; divorced, beheaded, survived!"